Navigating Grief During the Holidays

The holidays are often described as the most wonderful time of the year. For someone who is grieving, they can also be one of the hardest. Familiar songs, family traditions, and an empty seat at the table can bring the loss into sharp focus. If you are dreading the season ahead, please know that your feelings are valid, and you are far from alone.

Give Yourself Permission to Feel

Grief does not take a holiday. You may feel sadness, anger, numbness, or even moments of joy followed by guilt. All of these responses are part of grieving. Allow yourself to feel what comes without judging it. Some days will be easier than you expect, and some will be harder.

Plan Ahead, Gently

Anticipating a difficult day is often harder than the day itself. A little planning can ease the pressure.

• Decide which gatherings you want to attend and which you would rather skip this year

• Have a simple exit plan if an event becomes overwhelming

• Let a trusted friend know you may need extra support on certain days

• Keep your schedule lighter than usual so you have room to rest

Adapt Your Traditions

You do not have to celebrate the way you always have. Some families find comfort in keeping every tradition exactly the same. Others find it too painful and prefer to try something new, such as traveling, volunteering, or hosting a quieter gathering. It is also fine to do a little of both. You can always return to old traditions in future years.

Honor Your Loved One

Many people find meaning in including their loved one in the season.

• Light a special candle in their memory during a holiday meal

• Hang an ornament or set out a photo in a place of honor

• Cook their signature dish and share the story behind it

• Invite family members to share a favorite memory

• Make a donation or volunteer for a cause that mattered to them

Care for Your Body and Mind

Grief is exhausting, and the holidays bring their own stress. Try to eat regular meals, get outside for fresh air and gentle movement, and protect your sleep. Be mindful of using alcohol to numb painful feelings, as it can make grief harder to carry.

Let Others In

Friends and family may not know how to help unless you tell them. It is okay to say, "I am having a hard time this year," or to ask for something specific, such as help with shopping or company on a particular evening. If you have children, remember that they are grieving too. Simple, honest conversations can help everyone feel less alone.

When to Seek Extra Support

If your grief feels unbearable, or if you find it hard to manage daily life, consider reaching out to a grief counselor or support group. Many communities offer holiday-specific grief programs. If you ever have thoughts of harming yourself, contact a crisis line or emergency services right away.

The holidays may never feel quite the same, and that is okay. With time and gentleness, many people find that the season can hold both grief and love, sorrow and gratitude, side by side.